Nikkup
English
Get the app

Engagement: marriage questions answered by scholars

This topic has 2 questions. Each is a short summary of a qualified scholar’s answer, with a link to the full fatwa.

About this topic

An engagement (khitbah in Arabic, mangni in Urdu) is a proposal of marriage that both sides have accepted, before the nikah takes place. It is a promise and a time to get to know each other and each other’s families, not a marriage contract, so the couple are not yet married. Families often use this stage to discuss the mahr, the wedding and where the couple will live, and many cultures add customs of their own, such as exchanging rings or gifts.

Common questions include how a proposal should be made and who should be involved, how much a couple may talk before the nikah, what happens to gifts if the engagement ends, and whether it is wrong to call an engagement off. The summaries below are of answers given by qualified scholars at the sources credited. Read the full fatwa for each one, and ask a scholar you trust about your own situation.

Questions and answers

  • Must a man involve his own family when discussing a nikah with the girl's family?

    A young man wanted to talk about the nikah directly with the girl's parents and bring his own family in only later, so that his plan for a simple nikah would not be overridden. The reply said it is not obligatory to involve his family in every discussion, but that lying or making excuses to delay would not be permissible, and it advised being open with the girl's family about his wishes. It added that the husband must give mahr, while he may choose not to ask for anything in the form of jahez.

    Answered by Ifta Research Fellow, FatwaCentre.org (via IslamQA.org)Summarised on Nikkup

    Read the full fatwa on IslamQA.orgOpen this question on its own page

  • Is it permissible to call off an engagement without a valid reason?

    The asker wanted to know whether an engagement may be ended without any particular reason. The reply explained that an engagement is only a promise to marry later, not a binding bond, so a person who made it sincerely and then decides against the marriage may end it, though some scholars regard that as mildly disliked. It added that deliberately promising with the intention of breaking the promise is unlawful, and that gifts given in earnest need not be returned although returning them may be considerate.

    Answered by Shaykh Ikramul Hoque Miah, FatwaCentre.org (via IslamQA.org)Summarised on Nikkup

    Read the full fatwa on IslamQA.orgOpen this question on its own page

Related guides

All marriage questions

Serious about marriage? So is everyone here.

Download Nikkup and take the first step toward Nikah.

Get the appGoogle Play
How it works
QR code: Scan with your phone camera to get the app
Scan with your phone camera to get the app